Orioles Game

Oh, the mind of an anxious person is like a wheel constantly turning; it never takes a break and often turns way too fast. Plans that should be fun are often dreadful because of all the thoughts even if they don't cause a complete panic attack. I'm sure some of you know what I'm talking about.

I made plans to go to the Orioles game last Saturday during the day for my friend Brent's birthday. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm usually hesitant to make definite plans, which is usually because of my anxiety in some way. I had told my friend Brent I would be at the game, but I didn't decide I was definitely going until I woke up that Saturday morning. I went outside for Gia's morning walk and it was sunny and warm; it was a perfect day for a baseball game. I asked my friend Dylan if he wanted to come with me and he said he did. He told me to come to his place in Federal Hill and we would leave my car there and walk to the stadium. I wasn't sure about this idea because I like to have my car close in case I need to leave suddenly. I needed more details like how far his place was to the stadium and what the route to get there was.

I left early and started driving to the stadium. My plan was to tell him that I was early so I would just park somewhere and he could meet me there even though parking in a garage would cost money and parking at his place was free. But as I got closer, I didn't know what garage to park in or how exactly to get to the stadium. I knew my car wasn't going to be close no matter what. I like going to places with parking lots so I can easily get back to my car. I thought about turning around and going home because it all seemed like too much trouble, but Dylan called me as I was driving through the city. He was ready and wanted me to come over. I decided I would just do that.

I parked my car in his driveway and then started asking him how far the it was and how to get there. I told him I didn't like not knowing how to get back to my car; I don't like to have to rely on anyone else to get anywhere. He told me it was about a half a mile then he said three-quarters of a mile then he said about a mile. I don't think he really knew. I asked him if he thought we should drive, but he said he didn't think we would find a spot. I told him he I would prefer to drive. He said he didn't understand how I could run 13 miles, but I didn't want to walk one mile. That's something people often don't understand; it's just different. I could walk miles and miles in circles, but I couldn't walk the same amount of miles away from my home or a comfortable place to me. It's all about distance and control and being able to get back to comfort.

After having a conversation about this for a few minutes, he said we were walking because it would be good for me in more ways than one. When we got about a half mile from my car, he asked if I was doing okay. He asked me lots of questions and kept me talking so I wouldn't think about being away from my car. It was probably a two mile walk to the stadium, but it wasn't bad at all. Once we got there, we got beers then found my friend Brent and all his friends. We ended up having a lot of fun and meeting a few new awesome people.

I didn't remember how to get back to the car, so I had to rely on Dylan to get me there. I guess you have to let other people take car of you sometimes. The sun was going down as we walked back to his place, but it was still so warm out. I didn't think at all about how far we were from my car and before I knew it we were back. The walk home seemed a lot shorter than the walk there; it always does.